Gaslighting: A Microcosm of Emotional Abuse

 

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Have you ever heard about emotional abuse? Did you ever encounter it? Are you able to define it?

Emotional abuse has appeared as the most controversial topic alongside physical abuse since the beginning of quarantine. Hundreds of peoples started voicing the abuse they have been witnessing for a long time.

Henceforth, this article is about casting light upon the emotional abuse in the first place. Later on, the focus will be on gaslighting as a valid microcosm of emotional abuse. But, as a first step, I want you to take this test of emotional abuse.

https://www.gosmartlife.com/emotional-abuse-test

If not, you can still read the following questions then rate your answer from one as the low status, two as intermediate, and finally three as a yes.

1. Do you think you have been abused emotionally?

2. Are you sure of your feelings? Can you talk about them openly to someone you select from your family or friends?

3. Do you know how to spot any emotional abuse?

4. What’s gaslighting?

Seldom, we are asked similar questions like these at home or at school, but they help us to talk and address the problem of emotional abuse in general and the gaslighting abuse in particular.

Abusive experience, toxic relations and emotions lead necessarily to an accumulation of negative feelings, thoughts and disturbances.

1. What’s Emotional Abuse?

The fact of experiencing all of these aforementioned elements with varying degrees doesn’t decrease the hazards or its reverberations on the psychological side or emotional side.  In some cases, it reaches the physical side as well.

Usually, folks don’t recognize the fact that they have been emotionally abused unless it’s too late or after developing low self-esteem and self-confidence. Their uncertainties are nurtured with these instances of abuse; which increases their insecurity and vulnerability towards the abusers.

This is why, it’s of utmost importance to nurture, develop and cultivate their understanding and conception about emotional abuse. 

Andrea Mathews, a cognitive therapist and the author of several books states in her article “When, Is It Emotional Abuse” that “Emotional abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is an attempt to control another person…The emotional abuser …perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotional emotion her weapon of choice”.

Hence, one may conclude that the first and most essential goal is hurting and damaging the other partner or side. Just like physical abuse, emotional abuse can vary in degrees and means employed, the only difference is the use of either physical means to attack or some psychological mechanisms to reach their goal.

2. How Could Gaslighting be an Instance of Emotional Abuse?

Gaslighting is a notably new concept that is agreed upon as the notion that defines a psychological mechanism or tactic used by folks in power and authority to manipulate and control the abused people. Some researches approached this technique as the gradual accentuation of a series of harmful events achieved or at least caused by the abuser in a dramatic way. One can notice that this technique is largely used by politicians and diplomats and even leaders in some groups.

One important thing to know about the varying effects of gaslighting on the abused people is unstable psychological states. These outcomes could be described as the direct outcome of their previous experiences that totally resonates with them, until they learn to move on, to have their high self-esteem and self-confidence and mostly stop doubting themselves and their decisions. It’s hard to live in the doghouse, but it’s totally worth it to hang in there and heal one’s self.

The abusers usually are smart people, who have great weight in their social, family or work environment. It essentially starts with influencing their personalities, getting closer to them and isolating the victims from any other sphere. The isolation status will strengthen the attachment and alignment in thoughts between the abuser and the abused. 

That way it won’t be hard to impact the psychological status of the abused, you’ll find them either confused most of the time,  having blues in other times and sometimes enjoying complacency after receiving good and most surprising compliments from the abuser. The abuser usually tries to dictate the psychological status in the way it serves his benefits to the large scale. 

The idea behind spotting a gas lighter is quite important for the abused to be fully aware of his abuser, what his embedded intentions are as well as to be able to recognise what they need to do to combat these attempts of control.

- Written by: Syrine Landolsi

- Edited by: Maryam Salim