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1. Tell us about your background and journey.
I am a hotel management graduate, completed my training
from Le Méridien, New Delhi, before finding my niche in writing. After
graduating, I met with a career-threatening accident and was forced to stay on
bed for 6 months. In that period I contemplated my life and choices I had made,
depression had caged me, with chronic anxiety and panic attacks (all these
things returned, I suffered from these things earlier).
People around me were sceptic and weren't supportive,
they even blamed me for my condition and said I was faking my misery.
This pushed me to the edge. And I found myself drowning again. But
somehow I fought my way through it. In that period I decided to write a book,
about my life, obviously. It has the ingredients of a better tragedy than
Shakespeare’s plays. How a guy who suffers from depression fight his way out of
it, despite the reluctance of society to talk about the pain of men. And,
considering the stigma of depression in our society.
I walked out of depression while writing this book.
And then I decided to help people going through similar tragedies in their
life. I planned to be the voice of people who can't share their pain. At first,
I started talking to people who just wanted to be heard, but after some
suggestions and criticism, I decided to make it a profession. Thus did some
psychology courses, even enrolled for masters in psychology.
My book "Will You Stay?" Got published in
2019 January to rave reviews, topped the bestsellers chart, in initial days of
its release. It helped hundreds of people, all around the globe. Boosting
readers from 25 countries.
After that, I compiled true stories of people who have
been through depression or are still fighting it and compiled it into a
collection of short stories "The art of moving on" which was
published on 2nd May 2020, during the lockdown. Till now, it has received
positive reviews from people. It even provoked some people to
acknowledge their struggle, as well as the fight against their issues. My third
book is expected to come later this year, in October.
From fighting with depression to helping hundreds of
people who have been through depression, issues in their life and having
suicidal thoughts. Life has taken a full turn.
2. What led you to take up this career path?
I chose writing to pour out everything I had been
holding inside and bring a change in society, even if it is minute. We all talk about change, but we're not ready to be the one who brings it. There are a lot
of issues to be addressed, which I wish to exploit. Even if it gets
controversial, I will try to stay on this path of change, which I've laid.
I started studying psychology because people in India
are not taught about mental illness and are not aware of it. Thus, a lot of
severe as well as mild cases go untreated. At first, when I started counselling
people, they didn’t want my help, but my degree. Even that doesn’t help
them.
Since I know a lot of professionals, who charge hefty
money for counselling and sometimes it doesn’t even help. How can people reach
out to them? So I decided to make it my profession and a promise to myself that
I’ll try to help as many people as I can, in any capacity. I run a page on
Instagram with readers around the globe, 25,000 people follow it. I mostly post
self-help work, motivational posts and awareness about mental illness.
3. What are some common myths in society about psychology?
There are a lot of funny and sad myths.
1. People think the
psychologist can read minds.
2. They’re immune to
depression, anxiety, sadness. They can’t have time off. If you start reading
psychology, you become invincible.
3. It’s very easy to
study and people think they know everything since its common sense. Hello? Read
Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud, guys.
4. You can be a
therapist just after completing bachelors.
5. People can be
treated just by talking. They don’t require medication, which is a very
dangerous thought.
6. We get paid a lot.
This is only true after years of struggle and for people sitting at the top of
the hierarchy.
7. You get cured after
taking medicines and therapy. NO. Some issues return back, you never get rid of
some issues.
4. How can people practice mindfulness?
It differs from people to people.
It is a type of meditation in which you focus on being
intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment, without
interpretation or judgment from the outer world. Practising mindfulness
involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the
body and mind and help reduce stress. In layman terms, you drain yourself of
every toxic thought.
- Body scan meditation. Lie on your back with your legs extended and arms at your sides, palms facing up. Focus your attention slowly and deliberately on each part of your body, in order, from toe to head or head to toe. Be aware of any sensations, emotions or thoughts associated with each part of your body. Try not to think about any external things troubling you.
- Sitting meditation. Sit comfortably with your back straight, feet flat on the floor and hands in your lap. Breathing through your nose, focus on your breath moving in and out of your body. If physical sensations or thoughts interrupt your meditation, note the experience and then return your focus to your breath. Try to let go of everything.
Here’s a short practice to get you started:
1. Take a seat or lay
on the floor/mat. Find a place that feels calm and quiet to you. Be
comfortable.
2. Set a time
limit. If you’re just beginning, it can help to choose a short time, such
as 5 or 10 minutes.
3. Notice your
body. You can sit in a chair with your feet on the floor, you can sit
loosely cross-legged, in lotus posture, you can kneel—all are fine. Just make
sure you are stable and in a position, you can stay in for a while.
4. Feel your
breath. Follow the sensation of your breath as it goes out and
as it goes in.
5. Notice when your
mind has wandered. Inevitably, your attention will leave the sensations of
the breath and wander to other places. When you get around to noticing this—in
a few seconds, a minute, five minutes—simply return your attention to the
breath.
6. Be kind to your
wandering mind. Don’t judge yourself or obsess over the content of the
thoughts you find yourself lost in. Just come back.
Apart from this, you can indulge in things you love,
workout, listen to quality music (no Arijit) and spend time with your family.
Divert your mind of things, which gives you stress.
5. What are your tips for people who want to practice this profession
With a change in lifestyle and sudden turn of
civilisations, people are drowning deep into mental illness. And the sad part
is, there aren’t enough professionals to treat them. While other fields have
seen competition rising, psychology is still untouched. This is a bright time
to take it as a career. Since according to a study, there has been a jump of
500% of cases of mental illness after this pandemic struck. And it’ll keep
increasing because the situation will get worse.
You’ll learn a lot about yourself as well while
studying psychology, which will help you to turn things for yourself, as well
as society. And it always feels magic, when people tell you, you saved us, go
and be a saviour.
6. Is work-life balance a myth or reality according to you?
For some people it’s a tough job because they can’t
distinguish between them, they take their life’s issue to work and ruin their
productivity, or take work-related issues to their home, and make it bitter for
people around them. While it’s not easy to stay disconnected with things. Both
life and work should be private affairs, which should never be mixed with each
other. And it can be done by having good control on yourself, your state of
mind and thought process. Refer to point 4, it will help you to achieve the
balance.
7. How, according to you, can one manage stress?
Again, it differs from people to people. But the trick
is to engage yourself into things that you love. Listening quality, peaceful music, reading book, cooking, dancing, working out, so on. This helps you to get acquainted with yourself, as well as distract the part of your mind that is sticking to make your life stressful, miserable. Diving into these hobbies, gives you an escapee, a much-needed break from things, which are giving you stress.
Though a lot of people consider mediation difficult and not helpful, I believe that it is a remedy for everything. It gives you peace, control over your thought and comfort. It is effortless and fun to do, refer to point 4.
Lastly, everything has a solution, and you can work out things, why bother your peace of mind, tensed life, wrinkles appearing, hair falling and dark circles popping, on things, which you can always control.
Interview by - Geetika Bali
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