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It’s a paradox that the free human being in this modern, technologically advanced world is often frightened at the idea of being alone. When could it be a better time to talk about solitude and loneliness than now? Throughout the world, millions of people are spending their days in isolation, locked from the outside world due to the pandemic posing a threat to normal lives. The mere thought of going into quarantine can be intimidating to people who dread loneliness.
Have you noticed how often and how soon you get restless when you have to spend time alone without your mobile phones or any other access to technology? In today’s world, we are so glued with technology that we find refuge in our mobile screens to avoid loneliness.
But it took a pandemic to make us realize how suffocating loneliness can get— when you are tired of all the Netflix shows, when you have no more movies to watch and no more beer stocked up in the refrigerator. Reading has become a long lost habit for a majority of our people, or else many of us would have found refuge in books like our ancestors did in the past.
Spending time alone in quarantine won’t be that hard if you can look at solitude and loneliness as entirely different experiences. Here’s how-
Solitude and Loneliness
Solitude is the liberating joy of being alone. Solitude is identified as a quality amount of time spend undisturbed, so that we may work, think or, simply do nothing. Loneliness on the other hand is the suffocating pain of being alone. Solitude is the idea of being present with one’s self, whereas loneliness is that which is inflicted upon you when you can’t be present with yourself. Putting it the other way; you are lonely when you don’t even have yourself. Solitude is intentional, while loneliness isn’t.
Man is a social animal and being a human being we are so used to living the social life, but it is needed at times to learn how to be present with yourself and enjoy it. Solitude shall not be confused with social withdrawal which is a complete or near-complete absence of contact between an individual and society. Solitude gives your souls the freedom that it demands – a mind that is free from external as well as internal noises.
Solitude and Depression
People often associate a solitary life with depression as it is hard for them to see the thin line that differentiates the concepts of solitude and loneliness. There are indeed people who suffer from depression that they shut off themselves from the outside world and embrace loneliness as a punishment. By doing this, are they trying to escape from the world? Or, are they trying to escape from their own former and present selves?
This is where the whole concept comes back to loneliness and solitude. Depression can be identified with loneliness when you even hate your own company, whereas in solitude you just enjoy being with yourself. Solitude is when you intentionally sail the oceans of your mind to explore new territories within yourselves, whereas depression is when you float like a castaway in the violent currents of your minds oceans.
Solitude and Self-Discovery
Solitude greatly affects our self-concept. Deep down the depths of solitude lies the question of “who am I, and what my purpose in life is?” The same question The Buddha asked thousands of years ago; and the answer to which he found out by spending days in solitude under a tree. All of us cannot be like The Buddha, but we may use solitude as a mirror that makes us see through ourselves.
The art of solitude enables us to be patient for no reason, we find ourselves settling down in a sense of serenity in solitude, waiting patiently for the life ahead. This patience and mental calmness helps us to examine our self-concepts and the purpose of our very beings. Solitude helps us to find the roots of our self-identity. It’s a long way into ourselves from all the echoes, opinions, and judgments of the outside world.
It’s no surprise that many great people like Nikola Tesla, Howard Hughes, Stanley Kubrick, and many more have found out themselves and some of their greatest works in solitude.
Solitude and Quarantine
Solitude and loneliness is all about perspective, it’s about how you look at the idea of being alone. It’s just a question of, “should I enjoy being alone?” and if the answer is yes, ‘then how?”. Solitude can be chosen over loneliness in your days of quarantine and add to its quality. You don’t have to be in quarantine to start practicing the art of solitude.
An understanding of the art of solitude and its practice doesn’t make us anti-social; in turn, it helps us to understand ourselves better as a human being and eventually enabling us to understand other fellow beings. Belonging to a society demands us to spend time and energy on a variety of social activities and a lot of other people around us; but why can’t we spend a few minutes of our daily lives just for ourselves?
It’s required that we live a healthy social life, for what else could we be, if not for sharing and caring for our fellow beings. But at the same time, we must take a few moments to listen to ourselves; pause for a while, and sit with ourselves to see how we feel and what is becoming of the human inside this social animal.
How Can You Spend Time in Solitude and Make Your Days in Quarantine More Meaningful?
Sit with yourself for a while and listen to your thoughts, enjoy the silence —use solitude as a mirror that shows your image, and just listen to what the image has to say. Call up that old friend of yours and talk to them like it’s the good old days.
Meditate
Start with 10 minutes a day and slowly pick the pace as days go by, let the thoughts flow in and out of your mind. Pick up your long lost reading habit, or start writing a journal— write down your hearts. Paint, draw and scribble like you did in your childhood, remember how good an artist you were back then? When was the last time you picked up that pencil of yours?
Everyone will have their list of items to do, things that they would enjoy doing alone. Pick one from the list above or make your list of items and see how well you behave when there is no one around, but you. What would you do if you were not allowed to have your mobile phones, laptops, internet, or television when you went into quarantine? Ever thought of it?
It was okay for people who lived before the age of technology, but it’s intimidating for today’s generation, including myself. Even if we had access to all of it, most of us will get fed up after a few days and start feeling the hollowness inside—that urge to do something meaningful, adding a little value to our lives rather than being glued to our mobile phone screens.
Written by - Rahul Prem
Edited by - Nidhi Verma
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