The Art of Having a Good Conversation

 



Conversations are necessary for survival. It is only by making conversations that we learn, grow, communicate, inform, express and develop relations. As time advances, many new bonds develop and many old ones fade away. Hence, we must learn to adapt ourselves according to the situations. However, the sad part today is that many people do not know how to converse with another individual if he/she is a stranger. 


While body language is important in the art of conversation but if you have no idea of what you are supposed to say, then bodily movements will have no basis but would seem like a mere silent dance. 


Also, you need to have something to be confident about. Most people keep on harping, "Be confident, be confident". However, there needs to be some substance to the confidence that makes a conversation the perfect one.


Hence, the formula for the same is HEP where H stands for the history, E for environment and P for pickup.


History


You can have an ideal conversation with another person if the topic is connected to anything that is related to your history. For example- if a man is speaking about his career in mechanical engineering you could say how bad an experience you had with science or how fascinated were you with robots when young. Hence, you can connect a conversation with an experience of yours in the past.


Environment


If a conversation dies down and you do not know what to say, you can comment on something in your immediate environment. It could be passing a remark as simple as, "It is so hot out here, don't you think so? Do you like summers better or winters? "Another example of it can be you sitting in a restaurant with some other person, commenting on people sitting next to you, as to what they are eating or wearing. Make sure that you pass positive opinions as leave a good impression.


Pickup


It essentially means developing a new conversation from the old one. It can be done if you listen to the speaker carefully and find an appropriate word in their sentences to head your conversation into a new direction. For example, if the person is speaking about how he went to London for an internship, you could now pick up either London or internship from the conversation and speak about your experience with either. 


Now, a conversation without a proper body language is a conversation that is neither here nor there. Body language, in a layman's language, can be called the natural rhythmic flow of our body that conveys our level of engagement, comfort, and discomfort with the person in front of us. In essence, body language can be said as your second nature, which follows your thoughts and emotions that stem from inside. 

Now you may ask how do we channelize our emotions, mind, and body together?


Well, the most common problem that people face during conversations of any kind is an awkward silence. It comes to people maybe because of the lack of content or being too much caught up in their heads rather than being present. Following are the best ways to handle such situations:

  1. Face the person: You should face the person and not be speaking while looking at your phone or looking at some remote distant object. Eye contact is a great way to exude confidence and build rapport as compared to a looking down diffident approach.
  2. Be honest in the conversatio: There must be a free flow of energy through you. Do not be afraid of expressing discontent or disapproval of things that do not align with your conscience. Be candid and eloquent while giving expression to your thoughts.
  3. Mind and body coordination: Your body movements must be in coordination with your words. For example, while predicting the outcome of something, you can say "I told you that would happen" by moving your index finger and pointing it towards that person. Or, you can show your amusement by putting your hands on your waist and exclaiming, "Oh God, phew! I never thought that would happen" while nodding your head from right to left.
  4. Stand freely: No need to feel cramped for space. Try to take a broader stance while standing and talking among people. Scientific studies show that people who have an open body language give the impression of being more approachable.
  5. Dealing with nervousness: Make it a point to keep a smile on your face. A smile resonates positivity of character. It is also fundamental in bringing down any coldness present.

Hence, it can be concluded that the formula of a good conversation is based on both the content and the body language. It is only through the  amalgamation of the both can one crack the art of having a good conversation.


Written by - Shikhar Mishra

Edited by - Vasudha Sabharwal

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