Source - Books Maverick
‘The Parent-Child relationship does not end with just doing four things - get them dressed, feed them, wash them and put them to bed. Being a parent can be hard work. There will be times it becomes frustrating and dispiriting but at the same time it is the most joyful, love-filled and brilliant thing you’ll ever experience’ - Philippa Perry
We are all troubled by the emotional baggage we carry and strive to have better relationships, but how do we do that ?
Here’s a judgement-free book worth reading that helps to understand how your upbringing has shaped you, how to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner.
It provides indispensable information and realistic tips but is not a guide to being a ‘perfect parent’ or setting out a ‘perfect plan’. It rather helps understand more about your relationship with your child and what gets in the way of a good connection as well as what can enhance it.
Introduction
Book’s Name - The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will be Glad That You Did)
Author’s Name - Philippa Perry
Genre - Self-help Book
Language - English
Synopsis - Spoiler Alert!
The book starts with a chapter on Parenting Legacy that introduces the basics of how you as a parent have the greatest influence and is the most essential to your child’s upbringing. There are six chapters in the book that have been divided into easy, well informed, clear and thought-provoking themes telling the dynamics of parent-child relationships from pregnancy to adulthood.
Philippa has also introduced some exercises to perform in her book that are helpful in recognizing where certain emotions come from, what messages do childhood memories give us that may influence how you parent your children and many more.
About the Author
Philippa Perry is a British psychotherapist and author (born November 1, 1957). She has been a psychotherapist for more than twenty years and is an agony aunt (a woman who answers letters in an agony/advice column) for Red Magazine. She is also a TV and radio presenter. She has worked on several documentaries, including The Truth about Children Who Lie, The Age of Emotion, Humiliation, etc. for BBC Radio channels.
She has also written two other books, Couch Fiction, a Graphic Tale of Psychotherapy and How to Stay Sane. She lives in London with her husband, the artist Grayson Perry and they have a grown-up daughter, Flo.
About the Book
The book will help you to:
Understand how your own upbringing may affect parenting.
Accept that you will make mistakes and learn what you can do about them.
Break negative cycles and patterns.
Handle your own and your child’s feelings.
Understand what different behaviours communicate.
It provides a full of sage, sane, warm, wise and encouraging advice by Philippa Perry. It advocates kind and forgiving behavior to parents and their significant others that helps in mapping out a bigger picture of all the elements that lead to a good parent-child relationship. The book has also been The Sunday Times No. 1 Bestseller and is dedicated with love by Philippa to her sister Belinda.
The case studies mentioned in the book through Philippa’s practice are fascinating, and illustrate her explanations well that seem to have been drawn from quite a limited, middle-class demographic.
It assumes a standard of living perhaps not available to everyone – for example that parents will be free to spend significant amounts of time with children. One idea which runs through the book, that we should give children as much individual attention as they need, seems like very sound advice, but in practice could be difficult for parents with more than one child, and often competing needs.
Theme Involved
Isolated Wisdom - Perry speaks with an open human heart giving voice to a wide range of fundamental issues concerning human relationships contributing to a much more humane understanding of what it means to be a human being.
However, these gems of wisdom seem to stand alone, they have a tendency to read more like stand-alone inspirational quotes as opposed to components of an overarching narrative. It attempts to integrate multiple theoretical models to work with clients.
Key Takeaways
The way we respond to parenting situations is related to our childhood.
Validating all feelings of our child, even those that are irrational.
Parenting in a way that creates and encourages a sound mental health.
All behavior is communication.
Famous Quotes
“Children won’t form on their own like seedlings; they form in relationship with others.”
“Children, like the rest of us, tend to do as they are done to.”
“Emotions don’t have a mixing board - they just have a master volume. You can’t fade out sadness and pain and fade up happiness and joy. You turn one down, they all go down.”
“If a child knows they will be seen and soothed but not judged by you, they will more likely tell you what is going on for them.”
The Bottom Line
This book is a relevant and simple illustration for parents today. Rather than being complicated, it sticks to the basics and contains actionable advice from start to finish. If you want practical advice on how to raise an emotionally and mentally healthy human, this is the book for you.
My ratings for the book - 5 on 5
Get your copy from Amazon - The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
Written By - Umme-Aiman
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