Yes! You read that right. The flaws you beat yourself up for are the very same flaws that can make others like you more than you’d think. Your flaws are not only acceptable but beneficial as well! So, if you spill your coffee at work, slip and tumble down in public, fumble while giving a speech in front of a huge audience, don’t worry, because your mistakes make people embrace you even more, including themselves! After finding somebody as “human” as they are in this threateningly competitive and pretentious world, they find solace in your imperfections, and eventually their own.
The Pratfall Effect
In social psychology, this is called the Pratfall Effect, which was originally described by an American Psychologist, Elliot Aronson in 1966. It states that people who are supposedly “superior” are considered more affable and likable after they commit simple, occasional pratfalls than those who do not. The effect implies that a person’s attractiveness or likeability will intensify if they are considered imperfect along with the perception of being satisfactorily attractive and competent in a particular domain. Blunders make them seem more approachable, humble, and down-to-Earth in life, and decrease their sense of stiffness and austerity.
A person’s perfection can seem threatening and unrelatable, so it is safer and easier to truly like an imperfect person who sincerely accepts his/her flaws. The observers ultimately start a self-comparison between themselves and the blunderers, and therefore, they sympathize and empathize more with the person after he/she makes a mistake.
Why people like flawed characters?
This explains why most people are drawn to flawed fictional characters more than perfect, idealistic, “too good to be true” characters. Say, for example, the most popular character in the history of sitcoms: Chandler Bing. He was a subtly intelligent and affectionate gentleman who was extremely charming, hilarious, and witty out of his circle but at the same time, he was an awkward, emotionally unavailable chap who came with his own set of insecurities and commitment issues. However, the audience absolutely adored his goofiness and sat all the way through his roller-coaster ride of overcoming all the rough patches in life and becoming the first one to get married out of everybody! (Well, except Monica, duh)
That’s what people like to witness: Character development. Even in real life. Little flaws don’t make you a failure in life, they do quite the opposite. Think of it this way, you admire somebody and BAM! They make a stupid error. Would it be an endgame for you? Certainly not. The interpersonal familiarity between you two is more likely to increase than decrease. The Pratfall Effect affects various other spheres in life, like employment. You are more likely to get selected for a job when you take ownership of your pratfalls and hold yourself accountable for them in your interview than when you do not.
It's okay to make mistakes
So, if you’re smarty pants on your way to become a perfectionist, I want you to know that it’s absolutely okay to be fallible. When you make a petite blunder, there exists no human being on the entire planet who wouldn’t be relating to you at that moment. You’re being harder on yourself than the world is, and the last thing you’d want to be for yourself is a gun pointed at your head. So, the next time you slip, I hope you smile and shake it off, and save yourself from some real gut-wrenching, constantly revolving around your head embarrassment because you’re most likely being perceived as somebody endearing and mundane.
Don't misinterpret it
However, it is important to note that if you’re an average, or even less than average, the effect might backfire and increase your mediocrity, thereby decreasing your attractiveness. The consequences of the Pratfall Effect are highly contextual and depend on many other factors, so it is important to not take undue advantage of it and keep yourself from improving and learning from your mistakes. But don’t ever shy away from embracing yourselves, folks, y’all deserve it!
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