Attachment Styles are linked by different ways of interacting and reacting in relationships. Attachment Styles develop early in age but remain stable over time. People having secure attachment styles tend to share their feelings openly and seek support when faced with problems in relationships. On the other hand, Individuals with insecure attachment styles act clingy and needy when in the closest relationship.
Types of Attachment Styles: There are various categories of attachment styles namely Secure Attachment Style, Ambivalent Attachment, Avoidant-Dismissive Attachment, and Disorganised Attachment.
Secure Attachment Style: Possessing a secure attachment style does not mean that one is secure about one’s relationship or is perfect in its own way. It means that one is able to take responsibility for their actions or mistakes.
What Impact Does it Put In Adult Relationships: Like every Attachment Style has some effect on a relationship, so do Secure attachments.
You find yourself satisfied while being with others, and you seem to seek support or comfort from your partner.
You appreciate your own self-worth. You’re comfortable and open while pouring your heart.
You are able to your partner’s and your needs as well.
Anxious Attachment Style: Anxious attachment styles stand under the category of insecure attachment styles. It is characterised by an intense fear of abandonment. People who fall under this category, often end up thinking that their partner will leave them, and thus are often found hanging, starving for validation most of the time. It is often related to an individual acting needy or clingy. One might get anxious if their partner doesn't text back fast or accompanies a constant feeling that their partner does not care.
Impact it puts on Adult Relationships:
One expects too much attention and reassurance from the significant other.
One may find it hard to observe boundaries, one may look at it as fear, panic or that the partner doesn’t want you.
Being in an intimate relationship seems to take over your life and you are overly fixated on the person.
Avoidant Attachment Style: This attachment style is associated when an individual thinks that their main caretaker or their parents do not take care of them in the context of food and shelter.
How does it gets reflected in Relationships:
Trouble expressing their feelings.
Fear that being close to their partner will cause them to be hurt.
Refusing help or emotional support from others.
Disorganised Attachment Style: If an individual is said to have a disorganized attachment style, then it is likely that one has never learnt to self-soothe one’s emotions. Everything around them- involving their relationships and the world seems like an unsafe space for them.
How does it affect Adult Relationships:
While one craves the security and safety of a meaningful relationship, on the other hand, the individual feels unworthy of love and is frightened of getting hurt again.
One probably finds intimate relationships unsettling and confusing.
One may reflect antisocial behaviour or negative behavioural patterns like drug or alcohol abuse.
How to Prevent Development Attachment Styles?
Attachment Styles are often caused as a result of a dysfunctional or disturbing childhood which involves being subjected to childhood abuse, a traumatic incident or the presence of emotionally unavailable parents or caretakers. However, the only way to prevent or combat the development of Attachment Styles is that the parents or caregivers should be sensitive to their child’s feelings.
It is necessary for a caregiver to let their child know that they are loved, worthy and cared for. If the caregiver or the parent feels that they are not able to provide sufficient emotional care to their children, they can always talk to a mental health professional. The parent or caregiver should also ensure to comfort their own child and never make them feel as if they're a burden or that they’re ashamed of their child.
Another treatment that has been proven helpful to individuals developing attachment styles is counselling and therapy. A therapist plays an important role in understanding how a certain behaviour can affect an individual.
However, it's important to know your child in the developmental years since interacting and understanding your child can aid one in having closer relationships and avoiding attachment styles.
Written By: Jiya Gurnani
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