Dr. Sarthak Dave - Wisdom is Not Fighting All The Battles. Wisdom is Choosing What Battles to Fight (Consultant Psychiatrist From India)

During my practice as a psychiatrist, I come across on a daily basis, so many people who have some significant myths about psychiatry/psychiatrist And have harmful and unhealthy belief systems and thought processes. And I would be amazed seeing so many people thinking like this.

1. Tell us about your background and journey. 

So I belong to a place called Bhavnagar, Gujarat. Did my schooling there. Made tonnes of friends there. Then got into MBBS from Gujarat university from SBKS medical college, waghodia near Vadodara, and then did my specialization, that is MD in psychiatry from B J Medical College, Ahmedabad. 

I grew up in a middle-class family. My dad retired as an employee of a semi-government insurance company and my mom is a housewife. Have a younger sister. We are a very close-knit family. Love spending time with each other and with our extended family. Now that all of us are here in Ahmedabad, we usually get less chance of visiting my hometown, although I miss it a lot.

 

 

2. How and when did you decide that you wanted to be a psychiatrist?

My grandfather had schizophrenia(a psychiatric illness). Although he expired before my birth, would occasionally hear some stories about how his symptoms developed and how we didn't have the awareness and then the resources to even diagnose and then treat him. Medical science wasn't as developed with respect to psychiatric illnesses, as it is now. 

To be honest, after MBBS, as a field of specialization, psychiatry was my second choice. But then when I got into it, my first day itself was so so good. There was no looking back. Each day of my residency(training period) was so much fun. Had the best of mentors and colleagues. And with each passing moment, my love for this field only increased. And I still keep learning new techniques and methods and keep falling in love with this branch daily.

3. How did you make a presence on Instagram? What challenges did you face?

Well, I have been using Instagram since I guess 2013-2014. I found it a nice medium to share pictures. I have always been expressive and vocal. Back then it was Facebook and I would keep posting something or the other that I'd come across, mostly text statuses. And since the internet revolution in our country and the whole IGTV and Reels started, I realized that things are becoming more about pictures and videos, than texts.

During my practice as a psychiatrist, I come across on a daily basis, so many people who have some significant myths about psychiatry/psychiatrist And have harmful and unhealthy belief systems and thought processes. And I would be amazed seeing so many people thinking like this. 

For months if not years, I kept thinking as to How should I create awareness on a large scale, so that they'll be able to receive the message in a way that they'll understand. Something that's interesting and yet simple and gives the message. I finally came up with putting it up on Instagram videos and Reels. It also took me a while to concise something that I can talk on for an hour, into something that covers everything within a minute. 

It also took me a lot of time to understand the nitty gritties of Instagram, reels, hashtags, videos, professional accounts, etc. My friends helped me in this. Plus, I am a very camera-shy person. So putting up a camera in front of me and speaking and not feeling shy while doing so was also a big hurdle that I had to conquer. I gradually started getting a hang of it. I realized that if I will plan and said something, I would get nervous. So I started speaking my heart out, impromptu. Like I am actually talking to a patient or trying to convince a relative. And gradually things started rolling. 

 

4. How and where do you find inspiration to churn out content while making reels on Instagram?

Like I said, over so many years, I have come across unhealthy and harmful belief systems of so many people, relatives, and patients and I have had so so many such experiences, that I can't make enough videos on them. Every video that I make and post is a spontaneous one. Something that I dreamt about a patient or something I talked about with some patient during a session.

When I am done with the day during late evening, the most prominent thought that remains on the surface is what I record about and I post. So some of my videos are also my complaints or rants about how we as a society are doing/not doing things and that's leading to such terrible state of mental health of so many people. 

I post it with a hope that if someone who is doing it, sees it, will stop doing it so that someone else will stop feeling miserable. There are some funny moments too that happen like when someone comes and tries to convince me that the patient doesn't have a psychiatric illness but is because of a supernatural power, maybe some Bhoot or Aghori. I face hard time trying to convince that it's all neurotransmitters and not ghosts. But I give my best. 

 

5. What is self-care and self love How to practice it?

That's an amazing thing you asked. You know, we are social animals and our brains have been evolved to feel good when we feel safe wanted, and secure. During the stone age, if some humans won't be a part of a group or a tribe, it'll be at a high risk of being hunted down by a wild animals. 

And we have gradually evolved into a much more developed species. However, the feeling of seeking security persists. Back then, the danger was from wild animals. Now the danger is from our own self, our thoughts, and our perception of loneliness. And hence we seek that feeling of security externally, from other people.

Self-love according to me is training ourselves, and our mind in a way that it feels content with self. It doesn't mean that u don't meet or be with other people. It just means that you don't need to be with other people coz of the fear of loneliness, but just for the sake of it. Self-love is also a sense of importance and significance of one's individual being, in the whole vast universe. It also means that you have to make yourself work hard. 

Encourage yourself when you are down. Congratulate yourself when you achieve something and not over-criticize yourself when you loose. It has a very very broad definition. But if I'd have to say in one sentence, I'd say, being important enough for yourself that your emotions and how you feel is not dependent on people around you.  Self-care is caring enough for yourself that you are able to reach the state of self-love. 

 

6. There is so much pressure and competition these days to be on the top. How to handle this stress and not feel FOMO?

We need to understand this one thing about pressure. When in healthy amounts, it helps us grow. Makes us more competitive. Helps us become better in whatever we are and whatever we do. So always, some kind of competition and the resultant pressure to outperform others should always be encouraged. 

But, when the pressure becomes so intense that we aren't able give our best and start to Crack under it, we should realize that something is wrong. This usually happens when we give something extremely high significance and maybe attach our self-esteem with it. If we'll succeed, it'll be a tremendous ego boost. But what if we won't? Will we be devastated? Will we be actually devastated? 

No. Not really. This is classic polarized thinking. All or none thinking. When we actually see the wider picture, we'd realize that achieving this will help us grow, but not achieving it doesn't end our growth. If we realize it, if we are able to see it, we'll be able to work without that pressure. And without that pressure, we'll actually perform better.

 

7. How to deal with jealousy and a negative mindset and how to change it?

There are so many different people around us. And everyone is fighting their own battles. And everyone uses a different defence mechanism for dealing with their issues. A few of these people have a tendency to criticize or downright insult others and do what we call projection. 

Unable to handle their own issues, they start projecting them on their colleagues or juniors. And behave Ina condescending or discouraging manner. For the victims, it becomes difficult to handle their own issues and the added burden of negativity because of them. It's then that we have to remember that they're not actually doing it coz you are Wrong. 

But because they are desperate to feel good and one of the methods they've developed of feeling good is bringing others down. We need to stay untouched, unscathed by it by merely focusing on our own task, on our own self. If we are content with what we are doing, and how we are as an individual, this negativity would not really affect us. And yet if it does, take a pause, and get back to your task at hand with a stronger focus and zeal.

8. In today’s hyper-converged tech world, what are your thoughts on the current stress conditions?

Oh, the stress is tremendous. And social media, as much as it's bringing all of us closer, is actually adding to the stress exponentially. It's letting us show only that side of ours that we want others to see. And that selective focus on others' 'good life' that they tend to show on social media, created immense pressure on their friends and acquaintances. 

The feeling of content is gradually depleting. A promotion I received won't give me as much happiness coz I just saw on social media that my friend bought a new SUV. The increased sense of competition has just decreased the total duration for which we are able to remain happy. We are constantly running. And that's creating all the stress. 

The number of people having heart attacks or brain strokes in their 20s and 30s is rising exponentially. And don't even ask about depression. At least one in 5 young adults has depression. And this is no less than a pandemic. The number of high-functioning individuals having suicidal thoughts that I see daily in my clinic is appalling. 

Because even after achieving quite a lot, there's no content or no feeling of happiness. The personal relations and support systems have gone for a toss. Separated families and divorces have risen too. I have seen people who feel stressed when they take a break or a pause. So yes, the stress is at its extreme and the sense of self-content is at a significant low.

9. What are some of the challenges and roadblocks you have faced along your journey?

The biggest challenge that I face, on a daily basis, is that I actually have to convince the patient and the relative to take Treatment. This usually doesn't happen in other specialities of my field. But when it comes to psychiatric illnesses, the awareness is very low. 

People have become aware about the existence of something called depression, but they're completely ignorant about the fact that It is an ILLNESS and it is to be treated. And they're completely unaware about all the other psychiatric illnesses like schizophrenia or anxiety or OCD. The hold that a lot of faith healers and taantrik and baba have over a certain section of our society when it comes to psychiatric illness, seems immovable. 

The time duration, starting from beginning of the symptoms to taking the patient to a psychiatrist, is still years. The myths regarding the medications are also massive. I can't explain people enough that the medicines are not addictive and have no side effects and they're Not just for sleep. And the name calling(Paagal, psycho, etc), which actually discourage people from taking help, should stop. 

Another myth that I face too much trouble bursting is that most people, because of the self-help books or the motivational videos or etc believe that they're supposed to feel happy, no matter what, no matter how. And that happiness is the only target. 

We often forget that we're humans and we it is absolutely normal to feel sad, angry, jealous, etc because all of these are normal human emotions. Just because you like happiness(which is also a normal emotion), you can't selectively have that and get rid of the rest. It's completely normal to feel all the emotions according to the time and situation. So, stop seeking only happiness. Rather, seek a balance of all emotions. 

 

 

10. Any book recommendations in the field of mental health for readers?

A few books that I would actually recommend are :

Gift of therapy by Irwin Yalom.

The happiness trap by Russ Harris.

The Diet Trap

Jason Lillis, Ph.D. | Joanne Dahl, Ph.D. | Sandra M. Weineland, Ph.D.

A Liberated Mind.

And 

Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life.

Both by 

Steven C. Hayes

Although, it's not just the books. If we look closely, we can get inspiration from life experiences and people and their stories around us too. 

 

Bio-

A consultant psychiatrist from Ahmedabad on a mission to bring awareness about "mental health & taboos" 

Treats patients in a slightly unconventional way. 

Loves observing and treating how humans behave. Considers bringing awareness among patients and relatives as important as treating them.

 

Interviewed By - Shashank Sehgal