“ Love yourself first” it’s a quote that we always hear, but what does it mean?
Many people are comparing self-love to narcissism and having a big ego, if you love yourself then you are a selfish person who does not care for others’ feelings. If you have people who adopt this mentality then cut them off of your life. Putting yourself as a priority does not mean being selfish, on the contrary, it means that you know your worth and you care for your well-being.
Many of you are struggling with self-love, either you can’t accept yourself or the world is passing the wrong message for you about loving yourself.
What Is Self-Love?
Dr. Andrea Brandt, a therapist, said” Loving yourself doesn’t mean you think you’re the smartest, most talented, and most beautiful person in the world. Instead, when you love yourself you accept your so-called weaknesses, appreciate these so-called shortcomings as something that makes you who you are. When you love yourself you have compassion for yourself”. We are humans and it’s pretty normal to have flaws, it is normal not to look with no scars, it’s normal to do mistakes, it is normal to be normal! And your duty towards yourself is to love it, to accept it, and to care for it. Self-love is to hold yourself, embrace yourself, and teach yourself.
Search for your happiness, not in sacrificing yourself for others but in sacrificing time for yourself, to discover your soul, your mind, and body so you can give all of it the necessary care and love.
Listen to Yourself:
Listen to the hidden voice inside you, try to understand what you need, what you are lacking, and what you are searching for. Do not pressure yourself to love things you don’t or to do things you don’t care about just because everyone is doing it or someone is telling you to. Look for your happiness and satisfaction, not others.
If your body needs to relax today, then give it a break, if your mind is going through a lot of thoughts then give it a break, if your soul is so tired of fitting in the wrong place then do not push it to. Listen carefully to yourself and do what your own happiness requires.
Accept Yourself:
With the world being demanding and putting a lot of standards so you can be one of those who are following the wave, it is really hard not to compare yourself to anyone and to accept who you are. But did you find yourself comfortable doing all the things you hate just to let people accept you? Are you feeling yourself and being spontaneous around people who are copies of each other? Are you convinced that beauty is when you are the skinniest girl ever and when you put makeup to cover all your scars and be ashamed of some extra hair?
I guess the answer is No! You should know that there is no definition for beauty, there is no rule saying that you can’t love classical music while you are dressing a bit trendy, there is nothing that can prevent you from laughing at some stupid jokes. You are allowed to dress as you want, to talk like you want, to say whatever across your mind, and to be proud of yourself no matter what. Do not fear to be yourself, as long as you have respect for yourself and for others, nothing can stop you.
Forgive Yourself:
We all know that whenever we make a mistake the first thing we do is to blame ourselves, we keep on pointing to ourselves for every wrong thing we do and it turns to feel guilty even for the things we did not do. We live without forgiving ourselves, we continue on putting more burden on our shoulders and goes around feeling miserable and punishing ourselves for everything happening in our lives and even others’ lives.
But did you ever look into any problem or mistake you did with another perspective before blaming yourself and took all the responsibility without questioning anything? What you need to do is to analyze the problem or the mistake, be subjective, know your rights, and do not punish yourself for making a normal and a human mistake. Learn how to forgive yourself and teach yourself how to be ready for change if what you’re doing is wrong for you. This is one of the greatest ways to love yourself more, and by forgiving yourself you’ll learn how to forgive others and live peacefully.
Take Your Time:
Loving yourself and giving it the care it deserves won’t happen in a blink of an eye, it needs time, maybe a month maybe two, or maybe a couple of years, but what is important that during your process to be yourself you’ll learn from the past and try to improve yourself. Take your time to accept who you are and know that you are perfect just the way God created you, you don’t need to be fit, have blue eyes, or good at maths. You are who you are with all your flaws and imperfections, promise yourself to love it, and teach it how to be better and how to be the happy person you always wanted to be. Take your time, relax, breathe, and learn.
For more steps, read here.
Do not fall into the trap of instant happiness, your love for yourself won’t be solved by eating delicious food or pampering yourself with new clothes, not even by trying to avoid your mistakes and act like you don’t care or not being responsible for your faults. Self-love is actually by giving your soul, brain, and body the care and affection needed, and to treat yourself kindly, is to learn day after day how to be a good person enjoying life and standing strong no matter what the negativity and toxicity in society are trying to ruin the love and respect you have to yourself. You can read more about self-love here.
Written By - Nour Fawzi
Edited By - Khushi Prajapati
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