Source - amazon.in
‘When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences, then love has a chance to blossom.’ – John Gray
John Gray’s Men are
from Mars, Women are from Venus has helped many millions of couples transform
their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has
helped men and women realize how different they are and how to communicate
their needs in such a way that conflict doesn’t arise and intimacy is given
every chance to grow.
About The Author
Source - MarsVenus
John Gray, the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book
of all time, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Born on December 28, 1951,
in Houston, Texas, John Gray continues to help people understand their better halves
and relationships better.
His approach is a combination of healthy communication practices along
with nutritional choices that create an environment for lasting health,
happiness, and romance.
His take on differences between men and women, and how respecting them to
create healthy relationships took the world by storm, making him a best-selling
author of the 1990s. He continues to be a self-help author and pop psychologist
who built a business empire out of this famous work of his.
Pros Of ‘Martians’ and ‘Venusians’
Differences vs Equality
One of the positive takeaways from this book is that while there exists a
difference between men and women from various points of view, the equality being
pursued by men and women has nothing to do with these differences. The author
derives this conclusion from his real-life experiences.
For example, the author specified how a man likes to be a provider and
problem solver. But it doesn’t imply that a woman cannot earn more than her
male partner. Similarly, the author also discussed how women generally don’t look
for solutions but simply for a person to confide in.
While these differences are a general idea for many, a lot of people termed
these observations of the author an eye-opener.
The Questions Answers
One of the most interesting parts of this book is how the author tends to
answer a maximum of questions that all of us have asked once in our lifetime
about the opposite gender. The author digs into the psychology of ‘Martians’
and ‘Venusians’ while answering these questions, making the book very engaging.
The reader, at one point or another, tends to relate to the description
of Martians and Venusians in the book. This is why while a lot of people tend
to criticize the book, the other lot loves it equally.
Action And Non-Action Steps
While this book tends to be highly descriptive and informative about the
opposite genders, at the same time author addresses various techniques to
approach certain problems in one’s relationships.
The interesting part is – not every problem addressed in the book comes
with a solution requiring action. Many times, the author specifies the significance
of non-action techniques and how they create a greater impact than a proactive
action plan.
Specific situations like men going in their man caves and women having
mood swings are covered under this umbrella of action/non-action solution
techniques.
Cons Of ‘Martians’ and ‘Venusians’
The 90s Concept
While men and women and their equations don’t usually change, some
concepts in the book tend to sound a little outdated. In the generation of millennials,
we choose to question everything first before accepting it. Similarly, some
concepts, when questioned in today’s age, give out an impression of being irrelevant.
A Fifty-Fifty equation
One of the most highlighted and critically analyzed points of this book
is the practice of ‘keeping scores’. That one point is what failed to convince,
as it kind of changes the perception of a relationship from being an organic
co-existence to being a competition.
Personally, any relationship is not a competition or a Fifty-Fifty
scoreboard, it is more of a co-existence that requires a hundred percent
effort.
Point Of View Of The Reader
The reader will tend to have a love-hate relationship with this book. While
in many places the readers can be offended because of the author calling them
out, they can’t deny that the majority of such observations stand to be correct.
The perception of this book will be unique to each mind, as some points
will stand as convincing while some will stand debatable. And this exact
combination makes this book an interesting and engaging read.
This book is not an attempt to generalize the whole population into two
categories. The aim of the author stands to highlight that the difference between
the opposite genders exists, promoting acceptance of such differences rather
than ignorance, understanding and respecting them; all of this combined to act
accordingly and make relationships healthier.
Overall Rating – 3.8/5
Written By - Simran Mahon
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