Introduction
Does the statistical data based on sexual
abuse speak the truth? Has our society become so patriarchal that it has made
men hide their tears? or Has society gone so deep on feminism and female rights
that it has led to reverse discrimination?
In a typical patriarchal family, males are not
allowed to play with dolls, kitchen sets, etc. They are brought up with the
mindset that when you fall, you shouldn’t cry, and when somebody beats you, you
don’t come back crying; rather, you fight back. These are just a few. Nowadays,
women get more job offers than men, even though some female employees may not
be as skilled as some male employees.
Today, as there is an increase in the number
of female sexual abuse cases, the number of male sexual abuse cases is also on
the rise. It doesn’t mean that female sexual abuse never existed, but today,
because of education and growth opportunities for women, this form of abuse is
being brought to the attention of the public. But sadly, this is creating a
huge difference between males and females. Males in many patriarchal families
have been brought up with the mentality that they shouldn’t cry or express
their pain in any form, so when they become victims of sexual assault, they
hesitate to open up but rather prefer to bottle things up.
Incident
There was an incident when a teenage boy was
traveling with his father on a local bus. He sat behind his father. Beside him
was an elderly, white-haired, half-bald man, along with a woman on that
person’s other side. The elderly began speaking with the boy by placing his
hand on the boy’s lap and slowly slipping it through to the main part. This
made the boy feel uncomfortable. The boy tried to remove the hand, but after
some time it would come to rest in the same place. The boy thought of hitting
him physically as well as with strong words, but he never did so. Neither did
he reveal this story to anyone until lately. These things are very common in
public places.
If a girl experiences these incidents and
expresses them, society will understand and sympathize with her. But if it
happens to a boy, very few might sympathize. Even some public servants (police,
ministers, lawyers, judges, etc.) may prefer to defend a female victim more
often than a male victim.
Today’s education focuses on equality and
equity. But is there equality and equity in society? Somewhere, we have gone
wrong. I'm not speaking about laws or policies. I suppose there are enough laws
and policies that emphasize anti-sexual abuse, promote equality, etc. These
laws are beautifully structured. However, having the world's largest
constitution is meaningless if the country does not successfully implement it.
Story
There is a story in which a young teenage boy
was assaulted by his mother’s brother. This mother’s brother (traditionally
referred to as ‘Mama’) used to come to his house and take him on a ride. Once
he took the boy to a lonely hillside place, sat the boy on his lap, and enjoyed
himself while inflicting pain and causing discomfort on the young boy. The mama
once came to the boy’s home. He first took off his clothes and then the boy’s
clothes. He then started manifesting his same old behavior with the boy. He
ended up sleeping with the boy. Their encounters continued to increase in the
following months. The boy started to hate his mama. As a result, the boy began
to be socially isolated and was mentally and psychologically affected.
In the first case, the boy was affected by a
stranger, and in the second case, the boy was affected by a relative inside and
outside his own home. There are some cases where even primary kin may cause
harm, just like the mama in the second story. Thus, both males nor females aren’t
safe, neither outside nor inside their home, which is considered to be the
safest place for people. Both boys and girls are victims of sexual abuse. One
in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18
years old.
Bottom Line
Has our society become so patriarchal that it
has made men hide their emotions? Has it misinterpreted the meaning of
feminism? Or, have equality and equity only been in the books or papers of
education and not in practice?
You can’t silence it because you haven’t seen
or heard it.
Written by Claton Suares Borges
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