Interpersonal Attraction: Social and Emotional Well-Being
Interpersonal Attraction is a part of Social Psychology and studies the attraction between people that further develops into platonic or romantic relationships. It is the positive sentiments one has for another person; likeness, love, friendship, infatuation, lust, and adoration are only a few examples.
In their daily lives, all humans are significantly impacted by interpersonal attraction (IA), and this has been the case throughout human history. IA may be one of the pillars of harmonious relationships in today's stressful and challenging world, and its absence opens the door to negative emotions and poor interpersonal behavioral patterns.
IA is closely linked to other basic sentiments and behavior patterns necessary for a person’s well-being and everyday social interaction, such as the need for association (and group processes), liking, friendship, and love itself, despite significant differences. Failure to attract or find people appealing frequently leads to adaptive, interpersonal, and psychological issues.
Attraction v/s Attractiveness
Interpersonal attraction can often be misconceptualized and be confused with physical attractiveness. Physical attractiveness relates to physical attributes such as a good appearance or a pleasant personality that attract others.
It’s the question of what is and what is not considered beautiful. The difference between being attracted to someone and finding them attractive depends on one’s feelings.
Attraction is many times attributed to having either romantic feelings for a person, where you desire a deeper, emotional relationship with them or physical feelings for a person, where you desire a physical or sexual relationship with that person.
But just the thought of finding someone attractive is to feel that someone is objectively appealing and does not necessarily mean you desire to have any romantic or physical bond.
Attraction is multidimensional. There are several reasons for being attracted to another person other than just physical appearance. Take your friends, for example, you’re closely attached to them for several reasons- you like being with them, they understand you, you enjoy your time together, and so on. Whereas you might’ve also met someone who was appealing to the eyes but not very likable for other reasons.
However, there are several ways in which a person might be attractive, some of which we can work on and improve. We can work toward and improve our attractiveness if we understand the different types of attraction and the sources of attraction, as well as being self-aware and thoughtful about our particular strengths and flaws.
Types Of Attraction
1. Physical Attraction:
Physical attraction is all about a person’s physical attributes. It includes seeing someone as beautiful, sexy, or good-looking. Physical attractiveness judgments are instantaneous. Aside from culturally distinctive beauty standards, evolutionary scientists have discovered several universal physical attractiveness characteristics.
Although males value physical attractiveness more than women, both sexes are beauty-obsessed, and physically attractive people are perceived as more desirable. Beauty might be “in the eye of the beholder”, but humans correlate physical attractiveness with many positive attributes such as sociability and competence. This is known as the “beauty is good” stereotype or the Halo effect.
Attractive people might be social butterflies and receive more attention but they are not especially blessed with better and positive personality traits than relatively less attractive people, which then breaks the illusion because people are only physically attracted to them and won’t keep liking them if they have a bad mouth. Another reason for this beauty bias is an aesthetic appeal; gorgeous people provide sheer viewing pleasure.
2. Social Attraction:
It includes being attracted to a person’s personality. A person with a good personality will naturally attract people wanting to talk and socialize with them. In this, a person’s physical attractiveness doesn’t matter much.
We can see how important social attractiveness is through social media or dating sites. People prefer those who describe themselves to have a fun-loving and outgoing personality. This shows the desirability of extroverts.
3. Task Attraction
In this, people are attracted to the abilities of a person; being reliable, dependable, and easy to work with. Task attraction is generally associated with workplace relationships and group relationships, but it can also be there in some friendships and romantic relationships.
We are drawn to people who can assist us in meeting our wants and achieving our goals, especially if those needs and goals are of high priority. We prefer to seek potential relationship partners who are both capable and willing to help us reach our goals. These goals can be marriage, children, financial security, a certain lifestyle, particular freedoms, and other life goals one might have.
Determinants Of Interpersonal Attraction
Chemistry: Physical Attraction - The degree to which a person's physical traits are deemed aesthetically pleasing or lovely is referred to as physical attractiveness. The phrase is frequently used to denote sexual appeal or desire. It can also be considered objective; everyone has a certain type they are attracted to, some might like tall people, while others might like those who are shorter than them.
Proximity: Bonding - We become attracted to people who are physically close to us. To put it simply, the more we see them, the more we will be driven towards them. It isn’t necessarily true, we see a lot of individuals regularly but that doesn't mean we’ll like them, we could still dislike or despise them. However, by doing things together with the people in our proximity, we can bond with them and become more attracted to them.
Similarity: Like Attracts Like - The concept of ‘like attracts like’ describes how we are drawn to and attracted to those who are similar to us. We desire to spend more time with people who share our interests and hobbies, people around our age (usually 5 years younger or older), and people who share our beliefs and principles.
Complementarity: Personalities That Create Harmony - A speaker needs a listener, whereas an entertainer requires a crowd. As a result, we're actually talking about complementing personalities here. Relating to the common expression- “opposites attract”, personalities that are opposite but complementary are attracted to one other. However, for the attraction to last, the ideals and principles must be compatible.
Similar Core Values - What is the most important thing to you in life? Do you know what your top 10 values are? People who share your beliefs will always attract you. Occasionally people fall in love because they share the same religious or spiritual principles.
Conflicting values are often the reason that a relationship or marriage fails- one valued their freedom and the other valued commitment, one valued money and the other valued spirituality, one valued compassion, and the other valued perfection. Those values may have diverged over time, or the former values that drew them together are no longer primary or core values.
Written By - Sanjana Chaudhary
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