Changing the Male Narrative: Don’t Be A Man If You Are A Man!

Source: Alban Huber

‘Man’ is just a term that describes sex that is completely biological in nature. Firstly, we need to understand the difference sex and gender of any person to see things more clearly. Basically, sex is absolutely biological and is decided by birth but gender is what society defines you to be. Like here the term ‘Man’ describes sex but not gender. 

Our society is like an ocean in which many stereotypes are floating that is not letting us come up. There are roles and responsibilities decided for all sorts of people by society. Similarly, by the term ‘man’ people assume a big muscular adult male associated with manly acts and as hard as a rock. 

There are so many movies and other mediums that portray man as unreal emotionless and always ready to fight kind of a being. Even many important choices and decisions in life are made based on what role is decided for you by society. But the reality is upside down. 

Stoicism: Being Non-Expressive 

“To be a Man is to be Stoic and Emotionless?”

Source: Medium

The man never feels pain! This is the biggest false thought or stereotype which makes a man lifeless. Stoicism is all about being receptive without showing or expressing what you feel about the thing which you are getting or in the downs of your life. Basically, this approach says that you must not express your emotions in any arduous situation. It is believed or deemed that if a man shows his emotions especially in tough situations then he is becoming weaker which he can’t be as he is a man.

It is all the more depressing and emotionally painful as if a man is not expressing whatever he is feeling that doesn’t mean he is not feeling it. It gets collected and makes his heart heavier that may lead to severe repercussions. Expressing the pain is a way to release the pain. 

The problem is not being a man but those floating, obdurate stereotypes that are making society less expressive and more depressive. But anyhow nobody else but we being a member or a sufferer (all the male members) are going to change these disturbing and judgemental notions of society. 

Loaded with Loads of Expectations!

At every single stage of life almost every man is judged in one or the other way. These judgments later turn into expectations. These expectations are not like hopes rather they are perpetual and inflexible in nature. These expectations come from society itself that appropriately crumbles a man. 

• If you are a man, you’re expected to be physically stronger.
• If you are a man, you’re expected to be much more proficient in every aspect than a girl.
• If you are a man, you’re expected to be aggressive.
• If you are a man, you’re expected to earn more and cannot sit unemployed like many girls or women do.
• If you are a man, you need to fulfill all these and many more expectations to be a man according to this judgemental society.

Not only expectations but there are so many other responsibilities that a male member of society has to face and if they are not fulfilled then it makes him feel worthless or obsolete. Astonishingly, your gender comes ahead as an obstacle when being a man you have to choose your profession. 

The Bottom Line 

I believe we get affected by anything or anybody when we open ourselves for everything and allow anything to influence us. We need to create a kind of layer around us that catharsis all the negativity and humiliation. 

According to the WHO report among all the suicide cases, most of them are men every year. The reason can be many but the solution is “Be what you are”. Every individual has a separate life so he/she should live it for their own self accordingly. 

Now many social activists and another counterfeit feminists will not be agreeing with this that society needs to be smoother and should expect less from its male members. Because they are the only ones who are responsible for rising rape cases. But have we ever approached a solemn thought for understanding the mindset of a rapist. Most of the time he does this to prove his masculinity in front of the girl and other co-members.

We need to work on the foundation as it is not a problem that can be resisted through a wall of law. It is deeply rooted and has more to do with ideology. 

Written By - Vineet Kumar