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| Source - Flickr |
Digging further down into how this practice works, I engaged in conversations with women from my hometown, Benaras. They recounted feeling physically and emotionally secluded upon entering their new households. For years, they lived without directly looking toward their Sasur, Jeth, Nandoi, and other elders. Instead, they learned to recognize them by the distinctive patterns of their shoes, which almost acted as mirrors reflecting the men's presence. They also told me how any attempts to defy these customs resulted in harsh consequences. Women who dared to challenge these norms were unjustly branded as disobedient and morally flawed. Sadly, some even endured physical abuse from their husbands as a consequence of their rebellion.
Kiran Rao's recent fiIm Laapata Ladies, tries to address this issue by combining humor and satire while shedding light on this regressive practice. The film reflects how women are missing from most arenas, including media and politics, which happens to be one of the few helping hands for them in this male-dominated world. These women are considered the carriers of family honour or izzat, as we call it. The weight of the veil is symbolic of the amount of responsibility she carries.
In regions like Rajasthan, Haryana, and parts of UP, a traditional system known as the Baithak system prevails. Here, unmarried boys reside and spend much of their time outside the household or in a communal hall with elders, as opposed to having individual rooms within the home. This practice extends to even young boys, as children as young as 10 are discouraged from entering the house, and interactions between men and women are restricted.
The purpose of this system is primarily to segregate genders, leading to significant misunderstandings and barriers to the development of both. When questioned about the exclusion of women from baithak gatherings and decision-making processes, an elder from my village responded with agitation, "It's not their concern to attend men's meetings, and they're not supposed to give opinions on any decision made here. As per him, women need to seek consent from their husbands and in-laws before going for something as basic as a minor health check-up.
Reflecting on my family's journey, a particular incident from about 15 years ago comes to mind. My aunt, newly married at the time, managed to secure a job as a nurse. However, her aspirations were cut short as her father-in-law vehemently opposed her continuing to work. This decision was met with disapproval from our family, who interpreted it as a sign of the men's perceived failure to provide adequately.
In 2023, India marked a significant milestone as the sex ratio tilted in favour of females, signalling a positive trend towards reducing female foeticide. However, the reality in rural india paints a different picture. Women in these areas often face immense pressure to continue bearing children until they deliver a son.
Take one of my neighbours for example,they have five children in total, four daughters and the youngest is a son. Their family’s dire financial situation has left the four daughters grappling with meeting their basic needs while also struggling to pursue their education. Consequently,they are being married off one by one , further perpetuating the cycle of gender bias. The renowned writer Harishankar Parsai captured this sentiment aptly in his lines, ‘bhagwan 5 ladkiyon ke baad ladka dekar apne hone ka ehsaas dilata hai’. This highlights society's skewed perception that the birth of the son is a matter of the family’s honour.
We are well aware that across India numerous challenges confront women, often overlooked by mainstream media. Women, arguably the most marginalised community globally,face significant hurdles. While they hold reserved seats in parliament,they remain excluded from household discussions and decision-making processes. If not anything, at least we can acknowledge the marginalisation women are subjected to and advocate for a better tomorrow.
Kiran Rao's recent fiIm Laapata Ladies, tries to address this issue by combining humor and satire while shedding light on this regressive practice. The film reflects how women are missing from most arenas, including media and politics, which happens to be one of the few helping hands for them in this male-dominated world. These women are considered the carriers of family honour or izzat, as we call it. The weight of the veil is symbolic of the amount of responsibility she carries.
In regions like Rajasthan, Haryana, and parts of UP, a traditional system known as the Baithak system prevails. Here, unmarried boys reside and spend much of their time outside the household or in a communal hall with elders, as opposed to having individual rooms within the home. This practice extends to even young boys, as children as young as 10 are discouraged from entering the house, and interactions between men and women are restricted.
The purpose of this system is primarily to segregate genders, leading to significant misunderstandings and barriers to the development of both. When questioned about the exclusion of women from baithak gatherings and decision-making processes, an elder from my village responded with agitation, "It's not their concern to attend men's meetings, and they're not supposed to give opinions on any decision made here. As per him, women need to seek consent from their husbands and in-laws before going for something as basic as a minor health check-up.
Reflecting on my family's journey, a particular incident from about 15 years ago comes to mind. My aunt, newly married at the time, managed to secure a job as a nurse. However, her aspirations were cut short as her father-in-law vehemently opposed her continuing to work. This decision was met with disapproval from our family, who interpreted it as a sign of the men's perceived failure to provide adequately.
In 2023, India marked a significant milestone as the sex ratio tilted in favour of females, signalling a positive trend towards reducing female foeticide. However, the reality in rural india paints a different picture. Women in these areas often face immense pressure to continue bearing children until they deliver a son.
Take one of my neighbours for example,they have five children in total, four daughters and the youngest is a son. Their family’s dire financial situation has left the four daughters grappling with meeting their basic needs while also struggling to pursue their education. Consequently,they are being married off one by one , further perpetuating the cycle of gender bias. The renowned writer Harishankar Parsai captured this sentiment aptly in his lines, ‘bhagwan 5 ladkiyon ke baad ladka dekar apne hone ka ehsaas dilata hai’. This highlights society's skewed perception that the birth of the son is a matter of the family’s honour.
We are well aware that across India numerous challenges confront women, often overlooked by mainstream media. Women, arguably the most marginalised community globally,face significant hurdles. While they hold reserved seats in parliament,they remain excluded from household discussions and decision-making processes. If not anything, at least we can acknowledge the marginalisation women are subjected to and advocate for a better tomorrow.
Written by - Kritika Yadav
This article has been authored exclusively by the writer and is being presented on Eat My News, which serves as a platform for the community to voice their perspectives. As an entity, Eat My News cannot be held liable for the content or its accuracy. The views expressed in this article solely pertain to the author or writer. For further queries about the article or its content you can contact on this email address - anushka.author16@gmail.com
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